Bump In the Road

Why do we need a holiday once a year to spend time with our family? Is it too much for us to say I’m thankful for all you’ve done for me? This year marks six years without my sister, Brittany, who unfortunately suffers from epilepsy. Brittany was taken from us by the government, she’s mentally, emotionally, and physically drained. With the four days she has with us, shes petrified of the thought of going back to the “prison”, home to other disabled kids. Not a minute goes by does she not mention what she goes through, who annoys her, and how scared she is to go back. The supervisors monitoring the kids are no help. One of the supervisor tells Brittany how fat she is because she can’t  zip up her pants.

I can see the pain she carries because let’s just say I’ve experienced my own emotional break down myself. I hate not doing anything, but my hands are tied with school and another wave of books coming my way next year. It will take me at least 6 to 8 years to be financially set up and I’m sure she can’t hold on for that long. Sometimes I get overwhelmed and begin thinking can I even go through this? I start drifting off in thought, “it’s winning, I’m cornered and there’s no way out”. If anyone knew what goes on in the privacy of my mind I’d be committed to an institution for the rest of my life. Then I remember why I’m still going, she’s the reason. My sister and I never got on the right foot. We would fight for anything and everything, it soon became our entertainment.

I realized a few years ago during my darkest days, life isn’t about you, your pursuit of happiest. Even if she’ll never be able to drive a car, get married or have kids I have a feeling she still has a greater purpose in life than I do. And I’m ok with that.